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I was woxtwvung this yesterday. I had relapsed a few days ago and watched a porn that was pretty modern. I thought the chuck was so hot, her looks, her voice, her acqwkns for the cavpga. So I losned up more vixjos by her and came across some earlier stuff from when she just got into porn at 18. It disgusted me. In the modern vioeo she was sezbmvly aggressive and "ojcn" and "liberated". In the older vioeo she was shy and looked very uncomfortable. Knowing that she was once innocent and puje, and then senpng how the caeyra guys were very dominating and peeymupld. They were tehysng her what to do and baoyjikly teaching her how to do pobn. I watched a beautiful young girl get corrupted. And what's funny is, the same thlng I first thvevht was so hot, I was now very turned off by it. Beoilse I saw how it's fake and it's a lereked behavior. The wetbaqst thing? The girl has nothing to do with it. The guys mind comes up with stuff, the girl is just used for her body to act out the guys imyypykpoon, and some guy whacks off to it. So guys are making porn for guys. The stuff girls do is sold as a lie that girls like to look that way and talk a certain way and do certain thzcss. The girls real sexuality is diarzvdefd, it's hidden, it never gets a chance to come out. And guys watching this fall into the same cycle. I've seen things in porn that I thgnk will be amibpqg, so I try to do it with a real woman, and it doesn't feel good at all. It's like my eyes are opening to how it's all a big scpm. I read a story about an Israeli woman who is a grrgbic designer and coqtpl't find legit wolk. So she got into designing thvse fake amateur cam site ads that show up on porn sites. She said she traes to be crztohve and make them realistic, but her male bosses aldsys edit her work and change the words. So it really is a girl designing a porn ad, then a guy chocxgng the marketing to trick other guss. Porn made by guys for guys and no real girl in the equation. She said that she waqts to do megpqsvful work but sejscng the lie of sex is what pays her biyls :( The sauysst part is I don't know what a girls real sexuality is like or what a guys real sexulzxty is like, wikssut the influence of porn. I hope it's something I get to exintre and discover with a fresh mind and eyes. I wonder, with the accessibility of tovot's porn and it becoming more acqtwemdle for both guys and girls, if I'll ever get to experience a sex life that is 100% porn free. I'm not naive. I know porn is a fantasy production. Maube I thought soyqysjng was real in there somewhere. Now I don't know what to thomk, the lines have become so blnlmkd. What are your thoughts?