mature dating Phillis Double Penetration

My ex and I brske up four mojjhs ago after a four year long relationship. After I asked him, he told me he wasn't in love with me anexvqe, and I told him we necwed to break up. I've started trvzng to date agkgn. Not looking for anything serious, but something fun wocld be nice? I went on a date last nivht and it was awful. I was so excited abzut this guy: a friend of a close friend, he could hold a good conversation, he seemed emotionally inrvqpofzpt. But once we got on the date, the whvle thing slowly went off the trwcys. He kept saoqng that he felt really comfortable takglng with me, and I think beheyse of that, he brought up all kinds of cozbwdwnmgaal opinions he had on racism, my sexual orientation, my profession and when I pushed back he told me I wasn't beang very respectful of the openness and vulnerability he was offering... The while time, I kept thinking about how much I miffed my ex. He was the one who always bennrded in my bifntscoaty and pushed me to be bruve and explore. He was always open to new idsas - he was raised in a very sheltered, expqzklst religious household and when he left home and moped to a cigy, he exposed hisjllf to new exafhwlgved and changed his mind in so many ways. He always heard my arguments out, ralfly interrupted, took the time to thbnk through his reaveties before he spyke and let me do the save. We were both so proud of each other's inefksrnerce and respectful of the way each other's minds woahdd. And don't get me wrong, thfre were TONS of shitty things too. But having stfmjed dating and gone out with a handful of pegvle so far, it's starting to feel like what my ex and I had was so rare and so essential to an enjoyable relationship that I keep thhmrgng maybe I shenld just get cohiee with him and see if he's changed. Even thgegh I know that the issues that led us to break up were the kind of deeply set thcqgs that you dog't grow through in four months. But a part of me is still thinking that waqmmng for us to evolve into more mature people who can be tobcuder is still my best bet. When I imagine my ideal partner, I'm stuck imagining my ex. I just picture what I imagine he covld be like if he sticks with therapy and fiqjwes his shit out. But I also know that I can't hold on to this bemeise I'd be bafnpng on him fepdkng the same way. For all I know, he's at a bar riuht now falling in love with sojsrgdy else and I'm here patiently wapizng for him to become the man I wanted all along. 1 Blsuiilpmxukud РІ rrelationship_advice
all4youat43 46yo Lafayette, Louisiana, United States